First it is very important to know that no two coaches are the same. They aren’t like shoes, or a great purse that goes with lots of different outfits. Out there in the world where there are many coaches, there are probably only a handful who are really a good match for you. The goal is finding them and selecting one. And the same goes for me. Not every mother with a teenage daughter is a good match for me. My philosophy about life and my approach to coaching are important for you to know so you can begin to determine if we are a good match.

My philosophy about life is rather simple…you create it all and it creates you. (I lied - it really isn’t simple – it’s a paradox and they can be rather confounding.) I believe that things happen to us AND we draw to us people and experiences that provide us opportunities to learn about and awaken to more of ourselves.

What does this have to do with your relationship with your daughter? Just for the next few moments pretend that before you gave birth to your daughter you got to go to a line-up of yet-to-be-born girls. And from that line-up you got to select one little girl – and you selected the one that was perfect for you. The one that the highest power in this universe wanted for you so you can learn lots about yourself and grow in all kinds of wonderful ways.

So here you are, with the daughter that is perfect for you! How are you doing learning from this perfect daughter of yours? How are you embracing the learning? How are you resisting it? How is your relationship with yourself being enriched by your relationship with her? Are you wondering if this Trudy Kendall is one big nutcase and maybe you should just click the little ‘X’ in the upper right hand corner? Go ahead, if this is not for you. But if you find this the least bit intriguing, keep reading!

If you are like many people on this planet this perspective is different and a bit difficult to keep in mind. You may fall into the trap of feeling victimized by your daughter and you lose sight of the gift she is to you. I’ll bet you can recall the very first time you held her in your arms and felt the gift she was to you. One way to experience now the gift she is to you is to notice all the ways she reminds you of yourself – both the things you like about yourself and the things that you would rather not see.

Fundamentally the focus of my coaching is on this aspect of your relationship with your daughter – the gift she is to your personal growth and awakening. And, with this focus, my clients and I cover a million different things in our coaching together. Things such as…

	how to create stronger boundaries
	what to do about disrespectful behavior
	how to create agreements that work
	the pain and grief you feel for the loss of your ‘little girl’ who adored you so
	resisting the pull towards trying to be her best friend
	conflicts with your daughter’s father about how to address issues
	your emotions of anger, frustration, rage, etc.
	how to balance the demands of the relationship with other things that you want and other aspects of your life

As the coach, I am always keeping an eye-out for what more the mother can learn and understand about herself from the relationship with her daughter. Clients invariably experience profound shifts in the perspectives they hold about themselves and things that happen with their daughters and these shifts make a world difference.

So what do you think? Do you want to talk to find-out more? If you are feeling that there is some congruence between my approach to things and yours, then perhaps I’m one of those few coaches out there that might be a good match for you. I’m available for a conversation to find out, so please call or write. I always do with perspective clients – it’s the very best way to know if it is going to work.

That reminds me about researching coaches. Be sure when you are checking-out coaches to ask for a from the coaches you are seriously considering. Your relationship with your coach will be an important one and you want to make sure your coach ‘feels right’ to you. Also, check to make sure they are certified by the International Coach Federation (ICF). There are many coaches out there today without specific training in the field of coaching – wonderful people – just not trained specifically to coach.

Like most coaches, I do my coaching over the phone and normally I have three 40-minute sessions per month with a client. I am willing, however, to discuss designing arrangements that are optimal for a client. Some people think at first that the phone thing is not ‘personal’ enough. Believe me, it works. And, if you are anything like most moms I know – there is tremendous relief in not having to get in a car and drive to yet one more place and to be able to wear whatever you’ve got on!

Think about it. How might you be a different mother today had your mother had someone to support her and talk to during your teenage years?